GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Newlyweds undressing. groom removes his socks , bride asks "whats wrong with your feet your toes are all mangked ?

Groom says " i had tolio as a kid

You mean polio ? replies the bride

No tolio the disease only affected my toes

Groom removes trousers and the bride asks whats wrong with your knees they are deformed ?

As A child i had kneasles

You mean measles > replied the bride

No Kneasles ..a strange illness that only affected my knees groom replies

Groom removes his boxer shorts .....

Dont tell me says the bride ... Fucking Smallcox?

There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette.

They all decided to go to the bar and they got fake ids cause they were underage.

So they go in and the bartender knows they are underage so he call the cops.

The readhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave.

So they go out the back door and they see this barn.

They go inside and the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor.

See tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack.

Then the police arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to look around.

They go into the barn and look everywhere.

One cop says "They might be in those potato sacks".

So he kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears "woof woof". "That's a dog" he thinks to himself.

He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears "Meow, meow" "Well that must be a cat" he thinks.

Finally, he kicks the last bag containing the blonde and hears in a slow voice "po...ta...to...es!"

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says, "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound.

These jokes reflect why we love men sooooo much!

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A; None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q: How do you fix a women's watch?
A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?
A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won't do what she's told.

Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.

Our turn!


Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won't stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.(Well......)

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. (Well....)

Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He's breathing

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

man goes to the doctors and says
Doctor doctor!
I hear strange voices coming from my Underpants
Doctor replies

Dont worry there just talking Bollocks

what do u call a muslim standing in the middle of the road ?



An oppotunity

Natalie! Oh my. That's over the top even for you.

Always liked that joke.

I'm embarassed to confess there was a time in my life, when I was much younger, that I might have found this joke funny. Thankfully I've outgrown it.

Here in the U.S. one could do a cut/paste on the word muslim and insert any of the following: black, pollock, Jew, etc. I'm embarassed to even write them, and I won't go on. A frighteningly large number of people might also write in: fag, homosexual, lesbian, cross dresser, transgender. Indeed any of the GLBTQ alphabet soup.

The point is, the joke is only funny if said from an us/them point of view where "us" implies Right Thinking, Worthwhile, Respectable, and "them" can imply anyone else the "us" find offensive (or even different). As a transgender woman, I cannot take offense if someone makes that joke about me (and all who read this in the public forum) if I laugh at a muslim.

The second reason I object is that thus far in my journey the person who has been most accepting, most encouraging, most human, is my Jordanian, Moslim, primary care doctor. He is, by any measure, a remarkable person. And because we (perhaps more so than most) should always care when someone makes of joke about "them".

From Dr. Becky's site:
When they came for the Communists, I did not stand up, because I was not a Communist. When they came for the Jews, I did not stand up, because I was not Jewish. When they came for the Catholics, I did not stand up, because I was not a Catholic. When they came for me, there was no one left to stand up.

Martin Niemoller