GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Hi Marcella,

I am not trying to nullify your experiences, it just has not been my experience.

Either that or I have forgotten.

I know that in my own experiences, there was a lot of effort that was spent trying to validate one's self, not just me but others also. I have found however that transition is a lot like high school, once you are out on the streets, living your life... all that high school bull shit sort of dissipates.

1) I agree with Ana that this is an outrage, and am willing to admit that I am more outraged because the victim falls somewhere on the TG spectrum.

2) I do believe, for no other reason than gut feelings based on what I saw, that Ebony was TS, and turning tricks to survive.

RANT MODE ON:

3) Tess_au, you have posted in other threads that gay and lesbian issues don't belong on this forum. I disagree, and I think most of the women here do too. The issues are related, as society sees a MtF who prefers women as straight pre-op and lesbian post-op, and a MtF who prefers men to be gay pre-op and straight post-op. To most of us who post here we realize that they are separate issues, but to society at large they are inseparable.

4) I agree with Marcella that many TS have a "trannier than thou" attitude. Not all of them do.

5) I find calling one of the women here a 'man' or 'manly' to be highly offensive. It is a shot to the heart, at what for many of us was our emotional Achilles heel at one time or another. It is probably the most offensive thing you can call a woman here, akin to calling someone a c@nt in the real world. It makes the person making the accusation look bad, and if done cleverly, calls into question the character of the person being called 'manly'. I've had it done to me here in this forum, and it's not good for anyone involved.

RANT MODE OFF.

These two stories (Duanna and Ebony) are sad for two reasons. One, because they are human who deserve better. The second reason is that they are publicized by the media who are chasing ratings by showing what happened to "the freaks".

i cant believe this im actually in agreement with you here hope

But there is no need to rant as its manly LOL

Nah seriously how can someone label this woman without being labelled in the same bracket themselves is that not double standards ?

so glad I don't know you in 3d

I labeled this "Woman" who was murdered a man as that is how his supportive family refereed to him as. He obviously had some contact with this part of his family and presented as male to them as they kept referring to him as a man. Did any of you know this person or are you just assuming because you want a poster girl for our civil rights when those that knew him called him a man.


Ana frankly, I'm over you as your attitude stinks. You call me a Homophobe then when I present proof that you are wrong you can't back down. You question the fact that run a LEGAL Escort company and post stories about "we know what you are we are just haggling over the price".

all, let's not get into the accusation game. I'm getting tired of banning people.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has heard this from a family member:
"No matter what you do to yourself, you'll always be a man. You can look like a freak, you can even look like a woman, but you'll always be a man."

I had the 'privilege' of being told by my mother this weekend, “I had one daughter and one son, and my son is dead. I hope he comes back, but you,” she said while pointing at me, “are a non-entity. I don’t know you and I don’t want to.”
If I were to die tragically this week, my parents would refer to me as “he” as well. Unless we reconcile in the future, I’m sure they’ll call me “he” for the rest of their lives. It doesn’t mean I’m a man, and by the same logic, it doesn’t mean Ebony was a man either.

Yes, it's typical. And if your family has a Catholic background, chances are they'll never change.

In a way, you're a true woman only to yourself and those people who don't know about your past. For everybody else, their definition of you is tainted by their knowledge.

Family members, old friends, other TSs: you'll never get from them what you get from those people you've only met after, and who don't know.

But I may be wrong, of course. I can be a bit too paranoid sometimes.

My family is fairly supportive, some more than others and they have had many years to come to terms with my transition. That said, if I were to die, I have no doubt whatsoever that they would refer to me with male pronouns. They would probably even attempt to bury me with my birth name.

I didn't get from the story at all that this young woman presented to her family as male.

Actually, Gwen Araujo's mother kept referring to her dead child as "he" until she finally learned the truth. Are we going to say that only those transwomen who are fulltime deserve to be called women? Why stop there? Why not then say only transwomen who are fulltime and who pass well are women? Why stop there? Why not say who are fulltime and who pass well and are deep stealth are women? Why need we "enforce" the boundaries of Womanhood the way that radical feminists enforce it against the most fulltime, passable and deep stealth of us?

P.S. If my death were to precede my parents/stepparents, I have little doubt they would bury me as Christine, yet that makes me no less a woman than Gwen or this poor woman.