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#287929 - 07/31/08 05:07 PM
Re: How do I break this to my wife?
[Re: Vexing]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 08/14/07
Loc: Eastern Washington state, U.S....
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Disclaimer This is based on my personal experience only.
I told my spouse I was TS 9 years ago. She is a licensed mental health counselor. It took 8 years before she could begin to understand the full implications of what it meant.
I told my mother about 5 years ago. It wasn't until very recently that she began to understand the implications of what it meant.
Granted, I had been fighting this with all my strength and miserable until having an epiphany last year, but just because you tell them, and they seem to understand, doesn't mean it has registered emotionally at all.
My advice would be to write a letter and allow her to read it in your presence. Ask her to finish the letter before asking questions, and then prepare to be supportive.
I've heard horror stories where women were asked to leave immediately and never return upon disclosing, and I've heard of spouses taking it in stride. I believe the former outnumber the latter considerably, and most cases fall somewhere in between.
If you'd like to see a copy of the letter I wrote, pm me and I'd be willing to share.
_________________________
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him. " John 9:2-3
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