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#287913 - 07/31/08 04:34 PM How do I break this to my wife?
Kaitlyn Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/03/08
Loc: Vancouver Canada
I spoke with my psychologist last week, and she told me that the best way to come out to her was a little at a time. Do any of you girls have any suggestions of how to start?
She is aware of the crossdressing, and knows that I've done it since early childhood. I have recently moved out of our home, to allow myself to live full time, at home at least, as a woman. I have been on spiro for one month, and will begin estrogen at the end of August.She believes that I left her for another woman! It's been a long time since there was marital bliss, but I really do love her, and I know that she loves me. I am desperately hopeful that she will allow me to stay close to our family, but so much hinges on the delivery. Any thoughts would be welcome.

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#287922 - 07/31/08 04:56 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: Kaitlyn]
Vexing Offline
Frequent Flyer

Registered: 04/01/08
Perhaps ask the psychologist if she could write you a letter to give to your wife, explaining the situation; or perhaps she could give your wife a phone call, outlining what is going on?
Your wife might find it all more acceptable from an 'official' source.

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#287929 - 07/31/08 05:07 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: Vexing]
Hope_WA Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/14/07
Loc: Eastern Washington state, U.S....
Disclaimer
This is based on my personal experience only.

I told my spouse I was TS 9 years ago. She is a licensed mental health counselor. It took 8 years before she could begin to understand the full implications of what it meant.

I told my mother about 5 years ago. It wasn't until very recently that she began to understand the implications of what it meant.

Granted, I had been fighting this with all my strength and miserable until having an epiphany last year, but just because you tell them, and they seem to understand, doesn't mean it has registered emotionally at all.

My advice would be to write a letter and allow her to read it in your presence. Ask her to finish the letter before asking questions, and then prepare to be supportive.

I've heard horror stories where women were asked to leave immediately and never return upon disclosing, and I've heard of spouses taking it in stride. I believe the former outnumber the latter considerably, and most cases fall somewhere in between.

If you'd like to see a copy of the letter I wrote, pm me and I'd be willing to share.
_________________________
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau

His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him. "
John 9:2-3

Mahatma Ghandi, though a devout Hindu, was widely known to admire Jesus; Ghandi often quoted from the Sermon on the Mount, in fact. Once when the missionary E. Stanley Jones met with Ghandi he asked him, "Mr. Ghandi, though you quote the words of Christ often, why is that you appear to so adamantly reject becoming his follower?"
Ghandi replied, "Oh, I don't reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ."

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#287932 - 07/31/08 05:09 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: Hope_WA]
ŢÓRDÍS Offline
Ultimate Goddess

Registered: 11/18/06
Well, I've still never understood how one could have GID, then get married and then have children..but good luck.

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#287938 - 07/31/08 05:31 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: ŢÓRDÍS]
Hope_WA Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/14/07
Loc: Eastern Washington state, U.S....
I've never understood why people like McDonald's, so I guess we're even. kickbutt
_________________________
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau

His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him. "
John 9:2-3

Mahatma Ghandi, though a devout Hindu, was widely known to admire Jesus; Ghandi often quoted from the Sermon on the Mount, in fact. Once when the missionary E. Stanley Jones met with Ghandi he asked him, "Mr. Ghandi, though you quote the words of Christ often, why is that you appear to so adamantly reject becoming his follower?"
Ghandi replied, "Oh, I don't reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ."

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#287940 - 07/31/08 05:34 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: ŢÓRDÍS]
jenny_w Offline


Registered: 01/03/06
Loc: Oregon
Aw it is quite easy darling, I did it twice wink
_________________________
Observe your Self

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#287944 - 07/31/08 05:42 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: jenny_w]
jenny_w Offline


Registered: 01/03/06
Loc: Oregon
Oh yes btw...I have a decent letter that I composed before transtioning that I will be happy to send you if you'd like.
Just pm me.
_________________________
Observe your Self

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#287949 - 07/31/08 06:30 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: jenny_w]
Kaitlyn Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/03/08
Loc: Vancouver Canada
jenny, your mailbox is full
K


Edited by Kaitlyn (07/31/08 06:31 PM)

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#287950 - 07/31/08 06:32 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: Kaitlyn]
Kaitlyn Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/03/08
Loc: Vancouver Canada
by the way, having been born in a male body, I did also stand up to pee for many years.

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#287956 - 07/31/08 07:03 PM Re: How do I break this to my wife? [Re: ŢÓRDÍS]
Vannagirl Offline


Registered: 02/21/07
Loc: CHEEEZY, Wisconsin
Originally Posted By: Dagny
Well, I've still never understood how one could have GID, then get married and then have children..but good luck.


Me neither shrug
_________________________
Embrace The Rainbow And Wonder Of Life,Even Though Sometimes It Cuts Like A Knife...

"Sibling Rail Gun Of Reasoned Discussion"



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