GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

My goodness you, naughty little first cousin. Stay away from that backdoor or we'll have to sic the hounds upon thee lol.

Speaking of that have you ever had sex with an animal?

I noticed this is all in a public forum so I thought that was a fair question. May as well entertain the general pubic don't ya think?

I think I'm starting to see why Dags is tempted to go to your church. That place is rockin'!

Sounds like someone woke up on the “tranny-er than thou” side of the bed.


I’m not addicted, but if I have to grab something quick, Subway is my only acceptable ‘fast-food’ choice.

Back on topic. I would suggest taking your wife with you, when you see your therapist next, an let her sit in on session.

Mine goes to all my sessions, that way she can talk to a professional, about her problems, or concerns.

After the initial disclosure, this is an excellent suggestion! We go to therapy together as well.

In my opinion you did exactly that. The other woman is you. Let me suggest that she married a man. She has no problems that need addressing other than how to proceed now that her husband has died or morphed or whatever. I am saying this from direct personal experience and not criticizing you. All too often I see Ts get all wound up about the problems their ex or their spouse or their family have and how horrible the attitude of loved ones turns out to be. In my opinion you must not place blame on anyone including yourself although accepting the fact that you did practice some deceit might be healthy for everyone concerned. I did that. AS much as I married out of love and as much as I believed at the time that I was "cured" I did in fact hide my GID from her so many years ago. Guess what. That was wrong. I ultimately paid the price. She has forgiven me -- at least in words but the scars are on both of us.

On a brighter note you asked for a way through this mess. I can only tell you what worked and is working for me. I love my ex and my daughters enough to die for them. They also love me and I am accepted by both daughters and my ex but I stay out of my daughters teenage lives such as school activities and social events with friends because I chose to do that. They are contending with enough transition right now since they are 16 and 14 and of course were several years younger when I outed myself fully to them.

Since I will die for them I decided to give them everything except just what I need to live on and I also committed too as much support for all three as I can possibly provide economically. That did away with any need for attorneys. They get everything (I did have srs before I made that decision).

I prayed for a man to enter my ex's life and sure enough she found a really great guy. He is living with her in the home we still own together because the real estate market has prevented its sale for the moment. He is sleeping in her bed and I am sure they are having wonderful sex. It couldn't happen to a nicer lady. She is now a very close girlfriend. She and I share a bind of love most GF's do not. Its just no longer a spousal love.

We have never gone to a counselor together. There was no need. She is straight and she is the one who finally took the correct position that I needed to move forward and the marriage was dead. At that time we had not had sex in about 8 or nine years and very little at all for 12 years.

Your path will be different than mine. It will be painful emotionally. My best advice is cling to the love when you are in pain. Do not even think she has a problem no matter how nasty or un-acceptingly she may seem at times. Open up fully to her but do not try to hurt her in any way. Just love her. No harsh words. Just love.

Hope my perspective helps. It has been tested by fire and is proven - at least for me. May God be with you.

Wow! You know, Deena, I never looked at it that way, but you're quite right. As far as their lives, I too will have to opt out of my youngest's social life, but I was just not able to wait any longer. As for the mention of deceit, well, more than anyone else, I deceived myself. I do feel badly that my wife has been caught up in the ride, but no matter what, I will continue to the end of the earth to look after them all financially. My therapist said that she has a couple of patients who have stayed togrther, but while I have hope, the reality is that it's very unlikely.

I simply tried to state things as they happened to me in a straight forward manner. It is impossible to mention everything as I am sure you know. I do have an active social life with my youngest. We go shopping and to parties and to church but not in her locality. I am fortunate to live about 15 minutes south of their home and I am in another county. My oldest I see from time to time just about as much as her other parent sees her for my oldest is totally involved with her own 16 year old social life. You can guess that her life includes a steady bf, lots of school social activities and 4H as well as her active showing of horses. She is my redneck daughter who loves huge mud trucks and hot 4 wheelers. In fact she is leading the life I wish I had been living at that age. Oh well. I am very proud of both of them.

If I can shed any more light from my experience please let me know but your future will certainly have different ups and downs than mine. We are all unique. Take care.