GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

My libido took it's first major dip when I started experimenting with crossdressing. It's counterintuitive, I suppose, but dressing female made me far less likely to masturbate. I think I was using masturbation in my male life as some substitute for what I really wanted, and that was femininity. Not unlike people abusing drugs or alchohol to deal with other issues in their life. My libido in general was in great decline throughout my transition period.

Since SRS, my libido has all but disappeared. I think getting rid of that last little bit of testosterone from the testacles made a big difference. I was under the false impression that spiro got rid of all your testosterone, but I'm here to tell you that there's just no substitute for not having the real thing. Since SRS, I've seen not only a loss of libido, but significant improvement in my hair, and an extremely difficult time maintaining my weight.

However, my lack of libido is something I rarely notice. Generally speaking, libido makes you want something, which kind of creates a problem, in that, you don't have something you want. Not wanting something isn't usually a problem. So, for me, I don't find the lack of libido in of itself a problem. There is an irony though, I must admit, that when I looked at women's lives from a male perspective, clouded by a fog of testosterone, I did place a lot of emphasis on the sexual aspects of femininity. Now that I am a woman, the sexual aspects of being of woman are of little consequence. Yet, I love being a woman, and enjoy every moment that I am able to feel, express, and be perceived as feminine. It just goes to show what I've said for years. By the time you reach the point in life where you can finally get what you've always wanted, you don't want it anymore. You want something else.

What hasn't gone away is the desire for intimacy. While I'm not really motivated by sexual desire, being alone hurts. I'm not in a relationship, and I don't really have any prospects for being in one. This is where the lack of libido becomes an indirect problem. Sure, I don't want sex, which is fine because I can't get any anyway, but if I did want sex, it would be a stronger motivator to get me to get up and find a relationship. Libido drives you to go get something. Loneliness only makes you miss what you don't have. Libido may create a new need, but it helps move you to go satisfy another one.

My experience:

I did not even know what an orgasm was, until about 3 years after surgery. The orgasm I had was so strong, and seemed to last forever, that I thought I was either having a heart attack, or some kind of seizure. It was so strong, it was almost frightening.

Then, I realized what it was. Within minutes, I wanted to have another one.

I was never that concerned with loss of sensation.. I've orgasmed making out with my boyfriend well before pants ever came off.... and before starting HRT, numb would be the best way to describe my genitalia. Infact when I see Suporn apperence will come before sensation, as the one main reason is being able to look at myself in the mirrior.