GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

I have been told that it is highly possible that many post-op trans women are not able to experience sexual arousal and orgasm after SRS.

How true is this?

If you are a post-op trans woman I would be glad to read your experiences about this matter... whether you are still able to experience sexual arousal or not.. and whether you have a reduced libido after your SRS or not.

Another question I would like to ask is this one... how can someone know before the SRS whether she will have such problems with her libido after the SRS?

At another webpage I read that it dependes on whether you have ""male sexual urges"" of ""female sexual urges"". It is said that if you have ""strong male sexual urges focused in the external genitalia, you are likely to experience great loss( at your libido ) over time"". While if ""you have strong female sexual urges are likely to benefit greatly, as a whole new life of sensuality, sexuality and lovemaking opens up to them"".

But what is the exact definition of ""male sexual urges"" and ""female sexual urges""??

So this is generally the question that bothers me the most...how can someone know before the SRS whether she will have such problems with her libido after the SRS?

Some people do lose the ability to orgasm, etc. due to loss of sensation. Some others have sensation and are still able to orgasm but just lose libido and have no interest (if they ever had any). Some have both sensation and libido. I don't know what the percentages are.

This "male orgasm" vs. "female orgasm" thing is new to me. I've never heard of it.

I don't know, I think by the time most people get to the point of SRS they know whether it is a right choice or not for them. Many would say that risking loss of libido or sexual function is worth the risk.

Libido I think has little to do with SRS. I think that is something that is more in a person's head or if you end up with what you perceive to be too low a libido, there are things you can do for that as well.

I think losing the ability to have an orgasm entirely is pretty rare with most of the more well known surgeons. You might find your ability to orgasm to be even stronger post op.

I agree with this comment, it's simply worth the risk. I would also say that I lost the ability to orgasm years ago, but then I had my surgery in the dark ages of SRS. I would also say that sex was never a big issue for me and I never have really understood what an orgasm was.

When puberty kicked in, my sexuality created some confusion as it muddied the waters. I had some thoughts that were non-standard for my day in that I was not attracted to men and I lied about this fact to my doctors as I would never have been able to have SRS if I didn't (sexual attraction was a marker). I'm one of those people whose sexual preference started to change well into transition and there was no way I would let anyone see my body without SRS.

For me, the ability to have lived a life as a woman was paramount and sexual fulfillment simply paled in comparison.

On your final question, there would be no way to tell if you would lose the ability to orgasm before surgery, however there would be a way to hedge your bets. Choose a very successful surgeon who has a proven track record (might I suggest someone like Meltzer).

I hope this helps you in some way.

kat

I should think it very true.


Able to experience arousal, yes. Reduced libido? Well, dunno, really. Different, certainly. Less sex (as in how often) but it's much better (well, lasts longer, is more enjoyable, is more intense).


You can't.


The quote seems, IMO, suggest that if you're enamoured with your pecker, you're gonna be unhappy after it's chopped off. Makes sense, no?

I don't know that there is any way to know prior to surgery if you will have increased/decreased libido or the ability to orgasm. It's such a personal thing involving both your physical and mental sides.

From personal experience I can say that, if anything, my libido increased. That may have a lot to do with the fact that I am now physically the woman I always felt I was so that I'm more at ease with myself.

As for orgasm I don't always have one during sex (whether by masturbation or from intercourse) but I still enjoy it so much more than before.

Yeah what everyone else has said, there is no way to know what the future holds when you’re talking about having major surgery.

Having post operative arousal, libido and orgasm… heck, I have issues with that and I’m pre-op. To date I’ve had 2 orgasms and actual ‘female type arousal’ (those alone was…well it left me smiling like an insane maniac for the rest of the day) 4 times. I believe that I would have been unable to even have that if I wasn’t oh HRT.

So, it’s a decision that you have to make for yourself. I, for one, have no issues about maybe not having arousal, libido or orgasm because I haven’t had much in that way…so I really only have one direction to go from here. If I lose what little that I have had, it’s no big deal. Having next to nothing and having nothing is almost equal.

My only major concern is not waking up after the surgery.

They're talking about whether it turns you on to penetrate or be penetrated. It's what's in your head, not what's between your legs that counts.

Males of all types typically learn to orgasm by doing something active and vigorous with their penises. This is just as much habit as instinct, it's what works readily with the given equipment.

Most females learn to respond sexually to the experience of being penetrated, though for many, it's something of an acquired taste. The good news is you don't have to go through SRS to get a good idea of whether it's a taste you can develop yourself.

Some practical advice: get a vibrator, not the phallic type, but something more concave that will fit comfortably around the underside of your cock. Lie in bed and use a pillow to press it firmly against your crotch and turn it on.

Now fantasize about yourself as a woman getting laid by whichever type of partner you prefer. Be passive and let the vibrator do all the work, stimulating your penis like it's a large clitoris.

If this works for you, there's a good chance you can learn how to orgasm after having SRS. With a bit of practice, you may even come to prefer how it feels to be passively stimulated.

I had SRS in 1974 ("the Dark Ages" LOL!) at the age of 24 and had my first orgasm less than 2 months later. Being young and wild in the 70's I was quite "sexually active" and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Personally I found my libido stayed pretty much on par with my women friends throughout the years. It hit its lowest point in my late 40's after more than a decade of marriage and didn't make a resurgence until my mid-50's when I went back on estrogen.

A great deal of libido and passion is mental. When you feel good about yourself and alive, you are likely to be more sexual and orgasm more easily but low estrogen levels can suppress the drives.

I can happily report that my libido is still present. However it is reduced. Orgasmic function still present but "different" When you complete SRS you will understand. As for knowing if your Sexual Arousal/Orgasm Function, will be intact after GRS. That depends on Your Age/Health/How Well you follow aftercare intstuctions./The skill of your Surgeon. Im other words you cannot really know for sure.

My libido took it's first major dip when I started experimenting with crossdressing. It's counterintuitive, I suppose, but dressing female made me far less likely to masturbate. I think I was using masturbation in my male life as some substitute for what I really wanted, and that was femininity. Not unlike people abusing drugs or alchohol to deal with other issues in their life. My libido in general was in great decline throughout my transition period.

Since SRS, my libido has all but disappeared. I think getting rid of that last little bit of testosterone from the testacles made a big difference. I was under the false impression that spiro got rid of all your testosterone, but I'm here to tell you that there's just no substitute for not having the real thing. Since SRS, I've seen not only a loss of libido, but significant improvement in my hair, and an extremely difficult time maintaining my weight.

However, my lack of libido is something I rarely notice. Generally speaking, libido makes you want something, which kind of creates a problem, in that, you don't have something you want. Not wanting something isn't usually a problem. So, for me, I don't find the lack of libido in of itself a problem. There is an irony though, I must admit, that when I looked at women's lives from a male perspective, clouded by a fog of testosterone, I did place a lot of emphasis on the sexual aspects of femininity. Now that I am a woman, the sexual aspects of being of woman are of little consequence. Yet, I love being a woman, and enjoy every moment that I am able to feel, express, and be perceived as feminine. It just goes to show what I've said for years. By the time you reach the point in life where you can finally get what you've always wanted, you don't want it anymore. You want something else.

What hasn't gone away is the desire for intimacy. While I'm not really motivated by sexual desire, being alone hurts. I'm not in a relationship, and I don't really have any prospects for being in one. This is where the lack of libido becomes an indirect problem. Sure, I don't want sex, which is fine because I can't get any anyway, but if I did want sex, it would be a stronger motivator to get me to get up and find a relationship. Libido drives you to go get something. Loneliness only makes you miss what you don't have. Libido may create a new need, but it helps move you to go satisfy another one.

My experience:

I did not even know what an orgasm was, until about 3 years after surgery. The orgasm I had was so strong, and seemed to last forever, that I thought I was either having a heart attack, or some kind of seizure. It was so strong, it was almost frightening.

Then, I realized what it was. Within minutes, I wanted to have another one.

I was never that concerned with loss of sensation.. I've orgasmed making out with my boyfriend well before pants ever came off.... and before starting HRT, numb would be the best way to describe my genitalia. Infact when I see Suporn apperence will come before sensation, as the one main reason is being able to look at myself in the mirrior.