GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Hi there,

the last months I am thinking very, very seriously about going through transition. One main thing that worries me is that I have quite a big skeleton, a skeleton which is certainly larger even than the skeleton of the average male. I fear that my big skeleton will probably be a serious obstacle in my effort to try to make my body look feminine.

To help you understand about what I am talking I will tell you that while my height is 1,80 meters ( 5 feet 11 incles ), and in spite of the fact that I lost 20 kilos this last year, my weight is still very big, it is 95 kilos ( 209 lbs. ). This weight of mine is not mainly due to body fat ( I have only 17 kilos- 37 lbs.- of body fat), neither due to muscle mass ( I do not exercise, I do not go to gym, I generally do not do anything to build muscles ). So my big weight is mainly due to my skeleton.

I had a brief conversation with a doctor who performs FFS. I asked him some questions about FFS and I also talked to him about my weight and my skeleton. He told me that with a proper, strict diet I could lose even 30 kilos( 66 lbs.) and end up weighing 66 kilos ( 145 lbs. ) which would be the ""proper"" weight for a woman of my height. He told me that this may sound absolutely incredible and impossible but it is not.

Well, indeed it really seems to me absolutely incredible and impossible. I cannot understand how it is possible for me to lose all this weight. I do not seem to have such large quantities of soft tissue ( muscle mass and body fat) which can be lost through diet. And I am also afraid that if I follow the diet that this doctor recomends to me I will possibly start to suffer from ""Anorexia nervosa"" which as I know is very unhealthy and dangerous.

Anyway I am certainly going to talk to this doctor once more to clarify some things, but in the meanwhile I would like to ask you some questions.

Are there any people here with a body size and skeleton size similar to mine? If yes, have you gone through such a radical as the one that this doctor recomends to me? Have you managed to acquire through diet, hormone treatment etc. a female body with which you are satisfied?

If anyone here thinks that she has a skeleton size as big as mine and has gone through transition( or through some parts of it ) I would be glad to see her photos in order to have an idea about what kind of a body i can realistically expect to acquire through this transition process ( if offcourse she wants to share her photos with me, either through this public board or through a personal message )

PS. I would like to add to this post some photos of mine in order to give you a more accurate idea about my body, but I do not know how to do it. Can anybody help me?

Maybe you could try photobucket.com .As far as the rest of your post is concerned,I have no idea There are so many variables involved in hrt treatment that it's impossible to predict the outcome..

Really, all that can be taken from this information is that you are 5'11", and 209 lbs. The rest might be useful to healthcare or fitness consultants, who are designing future methods of care. But mostly that just says you likely have a slightly higher amount of muscle than "normal" for your activity level, because you recently lost weight.

Not going to the gym does not mean you have no muscle. Even if you were in a coma for several years, with zero muscular activity, you'd still have some muscle. Not enough to walk to the bathroom unaided, but some. Your current amount of muscle (or ratio of muscle to fat) depends on you lifestyle. Do you mostly sit in front of a computer, or are you fairly active? Do you eat healthy foods, or junk food? Going to the gym is not the only way to build muscle, and does not mean you will have bulky muscles.

I'd recommend finding a fitness consultant (easily found at a gym) and a diet consultant (sometimes found at gyms, but a doctor or gym person should be able to refer one) and ask them. Diet and exercise are the two major things that define how the body builds and maintains itself, as far as muscle/fat, metabolism, and overall size. These 2 consultants will have different perspectives on the same question. And be able to see you, and address your concerns more directly.

Just off the cuff, I'd say 145 lbs. is a bit lean. That's the low end of normal weights for your height. Hormones may mess with numbers a bit, but 160 seems a more reasonable short-term goal. Which could be refined as things progress.

I don't know how much skeletons weigh while still being used by the owner but I doubt there are great fluctuations for folks realtively the same size (guessing 10 lbs max).

145lbs is too light in my book for your height esp given that you are not natal female. I think most FTM's should carry a bit more weight than their natal female couterparts.

HRT will lessen some of your muscle mass (a big weight contributor) and of course redistribute body fat more appropriately.

Each individual considering transition has to calculate all the implications of doing so including the end physical result but our post appearance is just one factor and not the most important.

One's emotional well being and peace of mind are far more critical than the size or shape of one's body.

There is only one way for you to get your answer. Looking at pictures solicited from others is not it. Just loose weight and see where you end up and how you feel. I think before you do that you might want to re-examine your first sentence where you stated "I am thinking very, very seriously about going through transition". I know more than a few big hefty ladies who never gave their "big frames" a second thought because being a woman is simply not about the physical.

Its not really possible to loose that much weight, unless you want to be sure you will never ever have any real breast or figure development. However if you are willing to gain some back on HRT, and use the drastic drop as a method to get rid of your male fat and regrow proper female distribution its worth trying.

Women who are smaller boned at our height are usually atleast 150-160 more often than not.

Thanks for your answer.

I put some photos of mine.

If you ( or anybody else ) wants to see them, they are here.

http://www.genderlife.com/photopost/bulkupload.php?ppaction=addphotos&do=preview&photopath=2091&upuser=&notify=no&rating=&comments=yes&defcat=500&deftitle=in+absentia+4&defdesc=Me&defdesc=Me&keywords=&numprocess=10&processall=no&dthumbs=


Let me now give you an insight into some of my worries.

I put a measure tape around my chest ( basically a little lower, not exactly around the chest where the tits are ) and the result of the measurement was 3' 1''. I assumed that this cannot be significantly reduced since it seems that I do not have a significant amount of soft tissue above the skeleton there ( I mean that I touch myself there and I touch the bones of my rib cage which are almost exactly under my skin )

So isn't this 3' 1'' unnaturaly big for a woman?

I think that it is quite big even for a man.

I had the same result ( 3' 1'' ) when I put the measure tape around my waist, but I think that hopefully the waist line can be reduced more.

Concerning the rest that you said.

I went recently to a diet consultant, and I even talked to her about my thoughts on transition. She said to me that I can lose at least 20 more kilos ( 44 lbs. ), but she cannot say now whether it would be good for me to lose more.

She also told me that I have 186 lbs. muscle mass, while the ""normal"" amount of muscle according to her would be between 180lbs. and 193 lbs.

I used to eat quite usually junk food, but I limited it the last year that I followed the diet.

Concerning my lifestyle. I am not the kind of person who sits all day on the desk or the computer, but I am not very much active as well.
Somewhere in the middle I would say.

Thanks for your answer Jenny.

I agree with you that emotional well being is very important. But isn't one's emotional well being influenced by one's appearance?

I mean, doesn't someone feel better emotionally when she has an appearance she is satisfied with? And doesn't someone feel worse when she has an appearance she is not satisfied with?

In order to go through transition I will have to sacrifice many things socially, professionally and financially.

So one big fear of mine is that I will sacrifice all these things only in order to acquire an appearance with which I won't be satisfied at all, an appearance that will not look like a natural female appearance.

At least I am glad that I can share these fears of mine with all of you here, because in real life I can share them with very few people.

I'm am going through something similar the last couple of months. I'm a little taller at 193 cm (6'4" ish) a few months ago I weighed in the ballpark of 205 lbs. I'd been on hrt for about six months. Then I read a book that changed things big time. My partner actually started reading the book first. Its called "Skinny Bitch". She got a little bit into it and she said "I think they're going to tell me to go vegan." Well long story short the authors lay out a great argument for veganism in a funny and down to earth way. Well for the last two and a half months i've dropped over twenty lbs. The best part is that waist has gotten a lot smaller, but now my size 12 jeans don't fit any more. I always expected to gain weight on hrt, but since changing my diet i've been losing weight. I don't really want to get preachy and tell people they should be vegan, but if they're remotely considering it read "Skinny Bitch". That's my two cent, you can probably lose more weight than you think.
best of luck,
elisa

Hrt will not change your skeleton. I am 6'3" tall, weigh approx 240 lbs. You may gain weight once you are on estrogen.

I think the first thing you should think about doing, is getting rid of facial hair.

We all worry about our body image, even genetic girls. There are some really tall GG's, Many over 6'. The larger the person the larger the frame. Just the way it is.

I would suggest concentrating on more real problems, such as a job after transition, telling ones close to you about your transition, starting electrolysis, letting your hair grow out. Finding a really good therapist. Saving money, because transition costs alot.

Good luck.