GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Obviously, not many of us would like to be outed to millions of people like that.

And, depending on how you look at it, the joke could actually be on the guy who stormed off of the set, upset that she used to be a man. He was playing the role of the guy who finds out that a woman he thought was pretty (and maybe more)... "used to be a man." In a way, and depending on how someone interprets it, it could show that it's silly to judge someone like this. The skit exemplifies the fact that you can't always tell who is transgender and who is not. I think that's actually important, since a lot of people are convinced that they can always tell. I've been standing around guys who were talking about a girl who was trans around me and they were saying that they could tell she was trans... that they can ALWAYS tell. Yet, they didn't have a clue that I'm also trans. They were saying some degrading things about her and basically saying that she was gross. In a way, I sort of wanted to tell them that I'm trans, too, just to prove a point. But, I didn't because I didn't want them to then see me the same way.

I find on the rare occasions I have announced myself the reaction is always "oh yeah I knew all along". . . . then I know they are full of **it!

In Canada, we're just too polite to ever even suggest humour based on differences. The person by your side could be an orange midget dressed as a chicken, and you're not supposed to notice. That's the right way of being, politeness above all. Hence, social interaction is incredibly strained. Any little move can be a terrible faux pas, something that will smear your social value for a long time. As a consequence, we're a very divided society, and it's very rare to see groups of people that are mixed in composition.

Basically, the degree to which sense of humour is allowed seems to correlate with actual integration.

Perhaps peacefulness and openness are inversely proportional, and the price to pay to live in a society with no crime and no fights is to always be on your toes about never bothering anyone. Perhaps the price to pay for having no enemies is having no true friends, either.

Speaking as a professional writer, who's written a lot of comedy material (you wouldn't guess it, I know, from what I post on here, but I have!), I have mixed feelings about this. Obviously the notion that a woman who 'used to be a dude' is so shocking that it makes a man want to leave the stage and (presumably) vomit is, to put it mildly, negative. And yes, it reinforces prejudices ..

Or does it?

Look at it another way and the joke is on the guy who can't handle the fact that Amanda is transgender. Now who's problem is that: hers ... or his?

Any time you make a joke about any kind of minority, you invariably tread on all kinds of sensitivities: even if you come from that minority. Chris Rock's routines about the difference between black people and niggers would be complete unsayable from a white comedian ... but they were pretty shocking to many black people when he came out with them, too. Does that mean he should have kept his mouth shut?

When Sacha Baron-Cohen made Bruno, he was mocking the people who couldn't handle someone as 'out' as this crazy Austrian fashion victim. But lots of gay men felt that he was using and abusing negative stereotypes about gays. Who was right or wrong here?

Personally, I think that the ability to make and take a joke is part of the process of acceptance. My closest friend is Jewish. He knows I define myself as TS, even tho I haven't transitioned. I can make gags about his religion. He can call me a chick (and plenty more besides). Neither of us takes any offence because we take our friendship for granted and know that either of us could totally rely on the other in any time of need. When I do transition, he will support me all the way, and that's what counts.

Now, David Letterman is not Amanda's BFF so far as I know. But if you look at the sketch, his attitude is not mocking towards her. If anything, the look he gives the guy who runs off stage is much more disdainful.

In the end, the fact that this subject can be joked about on network TV and the joke is on someone who pretends to be shocked seems to me, on balance, to be positive. My guess is that if Amanda went on Letterman next week she'd get a huge round of applause. People would like the fact that she could handle the joke and if she came across well, which I'm sure she would, they would very quickly warm to her and admire her.

You may say, 'Why should she have to handle the joke?' Well, because life is better if we can see the funny side of things and learn that there is a difference between self-respect and pomposity: we don't have to take ourselves TOO seriously. If I were advising Amanda right now, I'd say she should make a joke back, then go on Letterman and wow everyone.

Th net result would be incredibly positive for her ... and all other transgender people ... And - whether we like it or not - it would garner far more acceptance and respect than whining about discrimination.

After you've transitioned and have been openly (and often) mocked in public for being a 'tranny', come back and tell us how your opinions have changed.
You lack the necessary experience to understand the implications and ramifications of such a skit.

and were you wise you might search for a way to handle such incidents gracefully instead of belligerently.