GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Now that the election in the U.S. is over, it might be a nice time for a little early election nostalgia. It all started with the primary in Iowa. Iowa is a place where it pays to knock on doors and get to know people. Is it any surprise that Mitt Romney had a great showing there? After all, he’s Mormon and has been training for that his whole life.

One of the things Romney talked about as a qualification to be president is that he oversaw the Winter Olympics when they were in Salt Lake City. It makes me wonder, how can a person be anti-gay marriage but pro-figure skating?

ok an election joke politically incorrect of course

whats the difference between america and england ?

in england a black man in a white house is a Burglar

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

"What was that?" The others asked her.

"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."

A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked.

"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."

They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked her.

"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this fucking sweater!"

A proctologist retires after thirty years as an M.D. He has always loved classic cars so he enrolls in an automotive repair program at the local vocational college. His first class is engine rebuilding, a subject he has a strong passion for. After taking his final exam, he called his instructor to see how he did. The teacher told him he scored 200 points. The proctologist was confused so he asked:

“I thought the final was worth 100 points?”

“It was. You got 50 points for disassembly, 50 points for reassembly, and 100 bonus points for doing it all through the tailpipe.”

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.?



He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'?



The boy replied, 'What turkey?'?




The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'?



The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'?



The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.?



If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'?



The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'

Natalie, the Personnel Manager

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s, Natalie’s, door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and immediately begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule.

Natalie decides that she should see this for herself so they march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up there are Elmo's all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. They watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs. Natalie bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics she pulls herself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," she says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood me yesterday...Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles......"

Q: What do Lincoln, Kennedy, and Obama have in common?

A: Nothing, yet.

I know this joke is fairly clean...

PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS
'1' Blaming your farts on me....not funny... not funny at all !!!
'2' Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!
'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
'5' Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
'6' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
'7' Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
'8' Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
'9' Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
'10' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

one old one

The municipality offered a free medical check-up for local hookers. There were young ladies filling the whole reception room. One old lady arrived to the reception and asked what were they queueing for.

- sugar, one hooker told, and the others nodded keeping the joke alive. So the old lady sat there for her turn to get free sugar. Finally it came and she was called in. The doctor was quite surprised at the age of his patient and expressed his irritation

- honey, you don't even have any teeth

That's not a problem doc, I can suck