GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand.
After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"
Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.
Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak.
She watched in awe for a while. Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.
In pain she screamed "What the hell did you do that for?"
Tarzan replied,
"Always check for squirrels."

The lone survivor of a shipwreck has been living alone for 15 years on an island since he was 10 years old. Surviving on local foods, he's actually done pretty well for himself.

One day a young woman is washed up on shore from another shipwreck. The castaway is overjoyed to finally have a companion on the island. The woman is glad to be alive, but is amazed that he has lived there for so long alone. She's also worried that there probably isn't much chance that either of them will ever be found. So she asks innumerable questions about how he's survived since boyhood, and the castaway patiently explains to her how he's learned to eat the foods he could find.

She then asks him about what he's done to satisfy his need for sex. He looks at her confused and asks what is sex. Then she remembers that he's been alone since he was a boy. She decides that if they're going to be there alone she'd better acquiant him with sex, and offers herself to him. She patiently shows him all he needs to know to make love, and for a beginner he doess OK.

Afterward, she say's, "That was sex. Now that you've had it for the first time, what do you think of it?" He replies, "Gosh, that was really fun. There's never been anything like it on the island before. But look what it's done to my clam digger."

Men with enough blood to think acutely when sexually aroused are unfortunately too small to satisfy anyone but themselves.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags had a small rip in it, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.



Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."



"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."



"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"



"Oh, no," said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot.

On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thingy through the fence, I grab hold and say, '$20 or off it comes."



"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"



"Well, you know," she says, "not everybody pays!"

Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence

Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"

To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants...

A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.

During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.

A father and his little daughter are taking a walk in the park. The father catches sight of a couple of dogs screwing. He tries to nonchalently steer his daughter away so that she doesn't see the two dog, but as luck would have it she does. She asks, "Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?" Thinking quickly, he answers, "Well, you see the dog on top? It hurt it's front paws, and the dog on the bottom is giving it a ride so it doesn't have to walk on its front paws."

The little girl thinks about her father's answer for a moment, and says, "Gosh daddy, I guess that's a lot like life, isn't it?" Somewhat taken aback the father asks what she means. She replies, "Well you know, you try to do someone a favor and you get f*cked."

whats worse for a man than having a boil on his cock ?
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Havin susan Boyle on it

A young native american boy asks his father how he and his sister got there names. The father explains that, when he and his sister were born, he would step out of the teepee and he would name the children based on the first thing he saw.

"That's why your sister is named Fawn Running", he explained, and then asked, "Now, do you have any other questions, Two Dogs F*cking?"