 |
 |
 |
 |
#329008 - 02/02/10 06:36 AM
Re: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: Diana]
|
Regular
Registered: 12/02/09
Loc: Little Rock
|
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee after mass.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic man says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men gave her a look and said, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 36 Double D breasts, 24" waist, and 35" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "My God."
_________________________
Around the world and back again.
On this plane of existence where men rule 'cause no one in power will admit to a better way, I speak for womanhood as a man who will both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually crush other men, depending on whichever method is required, to secure inherent rights for women. whether they be GG, TG or otherwise....~ Brotherly/Sisterly Love, Truett
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
#329009 - 02/02/10 06:53 AM
Re: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: qRachelp]
|
Regular
Registered: 12/02/09
Loc: Little Rock
|
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
_________________________
Around the world and back again.
On this plane of existence where men rule 'cause no one in power will admit to a better way, I speak for womanhood as a man who will both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually crush other men, depending on whichever method is required, to secure inherent rights for women. whether they be GG, TG or otherwise....~ Brotherly/Sisterly Love, Truett
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#329447 - 02/05/10 02:02 AM
Re: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: qRachelp]
|
Regular
Registered: 12/02/09
Loc: Little Rock
|
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and
they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to
enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. St. Peter asks
the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any
contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies,
"Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of
my finger."
St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in The
Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question,
"Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, " Well
once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says "OK,
dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through
the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the
line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the
front of the line. When she reaches the front of the
line St.Petersays "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?
The girl replies "If I'm going to have to gargle that
Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her
a$$ in it."
_________________________
Around the world and back again.
On this plane of existence where men rule 'cause no one in power will admit to a better way, I speak for womanhood as a man who will both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually crush other men, depending on whichever method is required, to secure inherent rights for women. whether they be GG, TG or otherwise....~ Brotherly/Sisterly Love, Truett
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#329773 - 02/08/10 12:23 PM
Re: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: qRachelp]
|
Regular
Registered: 12/02/09
Loc: Little Rock
|
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:
Please enjoy and understand the following :
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?
_________________________
Around the world and back again.
On this plane of existence where men rule 'cause no one in power will admit to a better way, I speak for womanhood as a man who will both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually crush other men, depending on whichever method is required, to secure inherent rights for women. whether they be GG, TG or otherwise....~ Brotherly/Sisterly Love, Truett
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Previous Topic
Index
