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#329864 - 02/09/10 10:29 AM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Natalie]
Natalie Offline
Supreme Oracle

Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
A Shopworker feels horny and decides to have a wank there and then
Frapping away he hears the owner approaching and panics and shoves his penis in the till
"You look happy " says the owner

"Yeah" Replies the worker

" Ive just come into some money smile
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie

Dont be afraid to be you

Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes

I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.




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#329866 - 02/09/10 10:32 AM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Natalie]
Natalie Offline
Supreme Oracle

Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
Ive just put a deposit down on a new porsche
and mentioned it on facebook
I said i cant wait for the New 911 and now 4000 muslims have added me as a friend
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie

Dont be afraid to be you

Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes

I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.




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#330478 - 02/14/10 07:03 AM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Natalie]
Diana Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/05/06
Loc: Michigan
The definition of a virgin in Mississippi is a 10 year old girl who can still outrun her brothers.
_________________________
Diana

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."
Helen Keller

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#330494 - 02/14/10 10:28 AM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Diana]
Beatrix Kiddo Offline

Codename "Black Mamba"

Registered: 02/11/06
Natalie, I love your sense of humor. You make me smile every time I read your jokes.

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#330679 - 02/15/10 08:33 PM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Beatrix Kiddo]
Natalie Offline
Supreme Oracle

Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
woman answers the phone and pervert on the other end breathes "have you got a big hairy sweaty c**t ..? " woman says "yeah hes on the fucking sofa do you want him ?
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie

Dont be afraid to be you

Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes

I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.




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#330785 - 02/16/10 08:11 PM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Natalie]
Karen S Offline

Weathermouse

Registered: 06/28/04
Loc: Metro Detroit...


Originally Posted By: From a bagpiper
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs.. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full.
As I was opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
_________________________
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

You can blow out a candle
But you can't blow out a fire
Once the flames begin to catch
The wind will blow it higher
~ Peter Gabriel Biko

"Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you." The Velveteen Rabbit



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#331037 - 02/20/10 03:20 AM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: Karen S]
Natalie Offline
Supreme Oracle

Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
i just bought an alexander mcqueen t-shirt its a bit tight round the neck ...but it hangs well
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie

Dont be afraid to be you

Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes

I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.




Top
#331520 - 02/28/10 12:07 PM Re: natalie`s bad joke corner [Re: steph123]
mixie Offline
Regular

Registered: 01/07/09
Why are breasts called boobies when they are awesome?
Breasts should be called yaybies.

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