#329864 - 02/09/1010:29 AMRe: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: Natalie]
Natalie
Supreme Oracle
Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
A Shopworker feels horny and decides to have a wank there and then Frapping away he hears the owner approaching and panics and shoves his penis in the till "You look happy " says the owner
"Yeah" Replies the worker
" Ive just come into some money
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie
Dont be afraid to be you
Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes
I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.
#329866 - 02/09/1010:32 AMRe: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: Natalie]
Natalie
Supreme Oracle
Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
Ive just put a deposit down on a new porsche and mentioned it on facebook I said i cant wait for the New 911 and now 4000 muslims have added me as a friend
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie
Dont be afraid to be you
Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes
I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.
Natalie
Supreme Oracle
Registered: 01/14/04
Loc: England
woman answers the phone and pervert on the other end breathes "have you got a big hairy sweaty c**t ..? " woman says "yeah hes on the fucking sofa do you want him ?
_________________________
aim high and achieve your goals ....thats why im me .. Natalie
Dont be afraid to be you
Time to eat all your words.... swallow your pride ...Open your eyes
I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine.
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs.. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full. As I was opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
_________________________ There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin
You can blow out a candle But you can't blow out a fire Once the flames begin to catch The wind will blow it higher ~ Peter Gabriel Biko
"Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you." The Velveteen Rabbit