GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

I had given the HR person for my division a heads up several months ago that this day would come.

Over the last 6 months or so I began expressing myself slowly travelling from male to androgynous and beyond. Once I crossed a certain point I realized I was presenting as female 24/7. This happened a couple of months ago.

So a few weeks ago I met with our HR person again and discovered she hadn't done any leg work at all on my transition. Perhaps it was wrong of me to assume she would have done this and I should have specifically mentioned it to her.

To make a long story shorter, they hooked me up with my new hero from the LGBT center on campus. She met with the main HR folks as well as my division HR and my boss. She is going to work with the main HR folks to implement a transition protocol so that it makes it easier on future transgender folks. Mine was a very bumpy ride to just get facts needed.

There were horrific communication problems during this whole process. I would say something and it would be misinterpreted, facts coming from the main HR office ended up being interpreted wrong and passed on to me. My hero actually made a strong recommendation contrary to what I wanted in dealing with the announcement to folks.

So after suffering from a two day anxiety attack and one day of depression I contacted the VP of my division who had previously told me to contact her if I needed anything at all to deal with my transition. Two days later I joined our division HR person (on Friday) and met with our VP. My VP already had the announcement letter drafted and asked for feedback. It was perfect. She then asks when we send this out. She said she doesn't send hot item issues like this on Friday and asked if I wanted it sent out on Monday. I was a bit shocked and giddy feeling at the same time. I said Monday would be perfect.

So, Monday it is.

Great news Dana! It was a big step for me. You will do great.

Soon your official transition will be a week old and the next thing you know a month, then a year.

Man or woman, life deals some bad cards here and there. Keep your chin up. Look forward and not back.

Best wishes Dana. It's a day you will never forget......

I still love to tell my story about 5/5/05 at 5:05 am when I walked into the drivers lounge at the trucking company I drove for, dressed as Pam for the first time. You could hear an avalanche of forks dropping onto plates when they saw me walk into the dining room. Surprisingly, I was very well accepted, and the rest is history....

Hopefully you will have a similar story to tell five years from now.

Pam

Congratulations!!! I hope Monday, March 8 is one of the great days of your life!

all I can add is that I went fulltime Sept.1st last year, and I'm 1/2 way through the best year of my life! Best wishes!

So far so good. The only problem I had was getting them to change my gender flag in my records. There are people working on it.

I got a lot of letters of support from people all across campus. Someone even bought me flowers! Monday was pretty much awesome. Now it is business as usual.

I had a dentist appointment yesterday and my doctor's assistant asked me if I had decided on a name and I told her Dana. She asked me if I wanted it changed in their records so I said sure! She was so sweet. Then as I was leaving I had to stop by the billing office and the lady there pulled up my gender flag and asked if I wanted it changed. I was floored. She changed it and told me I looked nice. Well, at least my dental records are changed.

People will surprise you. I'm glad that everything is going good.

Dana,

All of us have had experiences in our transition where someone who we thought would be non-supportive, surprised us by being completely supportive. Unfortunately, the converse is also true.

I am very happy for you, its a day that will always be as special as your birthday

Pam

Congrats Dana!!!

I can't wait to go FT but don't feel safe on my Indian Rez. so I'll be moving to Burlington, VT in 6-12 months to start my new authentic life.

The first week was fairly smooth sailing outside the fact that HR told me they could not change my gender marker in my records until I provided proof of 'full transition'. That was a no no. In Philadelphia we have laws that deal with transgender in the workplace and it specifically states you can't ask for proof of things like that unless it is an official record such as a tax record.

So, of course I pursued it. I got a call from the HR director and was told I can go fill out a form Monday and bring it to them for the gender marker change. So it appears that this will be the last thing I need to take care of as far as my transition until I get my name legally changed. Due to finances I am going to start that next month.

Allison! I am so glad that you will be able to be yourself soon. That must be horrific to have to live in a place that isn't accepting.