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#334411 - 05/23/10 08:53 PM
Re: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: Diana]
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Weather Mouse
Registered: 06/28/04
Loc: Metro Detroit...
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A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm f-----g her."
The boss says, "You f--k your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
_________________________
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin
You can blow out a candle
But you can't blow out a fire
Once the flames begin to catch
The wind will blow it higher ~ Peter Gabriel Biko
"Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you." The Velveteen Rabbit
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#334651 - 06/03/10 04:58 AM
Re: natalie`s bad joke corner
[Re: LaniLee]
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Registered: 08/05/06
Loc: Rhymes with Orange
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Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a teat and pulls....the cow farts.
Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.
Milk does come out however, so after some bargaining with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.
When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah?'
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'
Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota.'
_________________________
Diana
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will break you heart.
Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.
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