GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

Yes, simple - full time = name change (and driver's license, to the very day).
You don't want to be pulled over by police as a person who doesn't match the license.

Any other way you like can work as well, but be aware it might be to your own peril to not "match" at times when you need to.

YMMV. Anyone who gives "the one true answer, the only way that will work" is full of shit.

I think changing one's name just prior to going full time is a good guideline. In my case it didn't work that way. I changed the gender marker on my d.l. in Dec. '08. I went full time in June '09. I changed my name in Sep. '09. It's a long story but it was the solution for me.

For me, I had my DL picture changed first. I was dressed female with my hair done. My name was changed after when I went to court and made it legal. I have my Pass Port and medical card with F on it.

I changed my name when I was ready to never use my old name again...

I changed mine the day I transitioned. Court date was two months later, but the DL and stuff was already done.

Just a small point about credit. That worked for two out of three of my credit reports, I want to say transunion and experian. I'm pretty sure there's nothing I could have done about other reports(Lexus Nexus), at least at the time which was, like, 9 years ago. Once you get your legal name change, it's a court order and really easy to set your primary name, that said, name things get mixed up all of the time. And most banks won't notice or care and taking your old name off could mean that the CRA takes it like identity theft case and removes some of what would be potentially good credit. Basically, if you let all of your creditors know about your name change, it shouldn't be a problem, but if a creditor cannot change it's record since it's either switched holding companies, gone out of business, or just being jerks, the CRA may want to keep an old name there since your account is by that name(in my case it was a car loan that had lapsed but was in good standing.)

The way my name change went, was thus: I started getting ma'amed and miss'd on the phone and in person quite frequently, the company I worked for had a lot of trouble and probably partially because of the first issue, I was let go with a bunch of others. This was as good of a time as any to transition so I just went with it and set a court date to get my legal name change which took about 4 weeks. Then, changed my social security and drivers license and went in to talk to my old bosses about what was going on to ask them to change their records as well. It was, surreal and I kinda popped it on them, but they were mostly in the know by that point through a bunch of stuff so, not as big of a deal as it could have been. So early day court day, rest of the day changing those three things and getting a new picture for my DL and I was done.

All of this was about 11 months after I started really working forward so I felt it was a bit early, but that the opportunity couldn't have been better and I might not get a better chance at it. I thought I should take care of it before I was latched into something else that might prevent me from transitioning. And the rest is pretty much history.

Ultimately, you in control here. Do it when it feels right, maybe a little before depending on if you generally play things too safe and could use the push to get out of your comfort zone.

You mentioned being afraid of the big M on your drivers license and I get that, but honestly, almost know one looks at it. They may see it and skip over it. The one in 10 that is looking closely enough probably won't care much if at all. And you get good at putting your thumb or forefinger over it, so if you have to live without it for awhile, you're still not in a bad position. Ultimately, the more comfortable you are with you, the better off you will feel about the whole process.

Good luck!

Changing the name on records was neigh impossible in some cases. Two of the companies I'd worked for had been bought and sold several times during the 1980s. My old bosses were dead or in their 90s. My college wouldn't do it, not that the degree actually is worth anything anymore, because the records were too old and were archived in a warehouse somewhere -- 20 yrs is a long time and they had gone through 4 computer systems. My stuff was on the old IBM cards. Credit reports? My attorney sent the copies out, and handled the property title change. Social Security was a snap -- "What is this 'M' doing here? Obviously a mistake. There. Fixed."

But I will say this: mailing lists.... mailing lists. They get bought and sold. Your old name will find you via junk mail. It may not be right away, but it will happen. It happened to me 6 yrs after the fact.

Finally got around to changing my name on my property tax billing address. Had tons of junk mail sent to that old address. After almost 10 years...sigh

I don't know what it's like in the States but in Australia the police keep you under your original "alias" if an officer searches you in the database. That does make sense otherwise heaven forbid a tėrrorist could use the change as a way to get around security. I've experienced a bigoted officer .... but I dealt first with the issue at hand and the next few days with said officer. We do have rights.