GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

In the transitioning process when is it a good time to change your name? I just keep thinking what if I get pulled over or want to buy beer or write a check and my license is my (MALE LICENSE). Would anyone like to share stories, tips or suggestions? Thanks, Mary

Timing is always an issue when you change your name. In my case I timed my transition to my name change. I went full time the day the legal name change was effective and immediately went about getting a new drivers license and changing my name on everything.

I have friends who went full time before they changed there names and others who waited weeks after the name changed was approved. If you don't change your IDs even though you made the legal name change you can still go by your old name under normal circumstances for some time before the records catch up. Not the way I would recommend it but I'm sure there are those here who have taken their time with the legal change.

I think you have to be aware of how your name change is done where you live. I did not have to appear in court as the courts do not handle name changes where I lived. I think there are more hoops to jump through in certain jurisdictions.

Thanks Miss LaniLee,

I am having a little anxiety about that. Especially at work a name change would be a milestone for me but on applications for new jobs I would have to put my birth name I used at previous jobs and always have to always explain myself. I guess there is no way around that but it is definitely not something I am looking foreword to. Who said "THE LIFE" was easy anyway . Thanks for your response. Another question I have is when a name is changed to a female name, will "female" then be displayed on ID's and birth certificates or does that only happen after surgery?

The best time to change your name is when you feel ready to live as A transitioned female.the process is easy.Just go to your local courthouse and fill out a petition for A legal name change.You will be asked why you want to change your name.Just put down transition.Then you just pay A nominal court fee for filing.Then you just wait to hear back from the court.Some times an individual will have to appear in front of the judge.but rarely.most times A judge will just approve your petition because you are transitioning.then once your name change is granted,go to your nearest social security office and request a new social security card.then once you receive your new card,take it,your approved name change from the court,your original birth certificate showing your what your name used to be and proof of address to the dmv.it doesn't matter if your new name doesn't match your name on your birth certificate.because you can show you had it legally changed.If you look at Andreas page ts road map,you will see a section on there about birth certificates.click on it.It explains how you can get A new birth certificate with your new name.As far as job applications,I know some ask if you have ever used another name.If you had A paper showing you were diagnosed with gender identity disorder,then you could just show the paper along with your legal name change paper,and that would help a perspective employer understand everything.

Thanks SWTAMBR,

Very helpful info. I will be sure to check out Andreas page on ts road map.

Mary,

Well, as a geek-girl I applied a little formula, to make it clear when I should get my name change and license change done. The most important date is the date you plan on going full-time. What I did is I found out the date I needed to change my name to make the next pay period at work, and timed my coming out day to that, after choosing the month I was going to go out based on my progress with hormones. Then I found out it takes up to 125 days to get your name changed in my county, and that it would take up to 4 weeks to get my drivers license. I knew I was coming out in late January, so I went to the courthouse and filed my application in November! They gave me January 14th to get the Name change hearing. Because of the delay I got a DMV appointment in advance, a few days after I would get my name change. Then I got a doctor to sign my DMV form.so I got Name change first on the 14th...DMV on the 19th (a temporary License with "F" on it ) and came out on the 24th of January. So timing is everything...some doctors managing your transition don't want to pin you to a date, but it is anywhere between 9 and 18 months usually of full HRT. I think what you are comfortable with matters. I actually got my GP to sign the DMV form. I don't think my Psychologist was too happy about that...so I fired him, and went to Lyon-Martin in San Francisco, instead. They were so cool.

Well things are done differently where you are I guess.Where I live,once you get your paper from the court showing your legal name change,you can move forward very quickly.My gender counselor and my hrt doctor even don't restrict me.Because of the severity of my gid.The first day I met my hrt doctor,she was ready to start me on hormone pills.

I advise anyone to change their name prior to going full time. The legal process varies from state to state, so check your local jurisdiction for informat1on.

One thing you want to take into consideration is; do you want your credit report to say "Other Names Used" (former male name)? Personally, I view that as a BAD thing because it will out you every time you apply for credit or a when a prospective employer does a background check. I had planned my transition over a year in advance, and made sure there was NO debt in my name for the year preceding my name change (other than business debt). The mortgage was in my ex spouse' name, and I had closed out my car loan and purchased an old car with cash. By the time I applied for my first credit (the lease on my truck), I had NO credit history and NO reference to my old name. This is mentioned in Chapter 18 of my book, Gypsy Moon.

I hope this helps.

Hi Feral Cat,
I'm replying to your post because I disagree with you on some things.First off your point about changing your name prior to going full time.As many of us well know,transition is basically about acceptance.And most individuals in transition,change there name after living full time as the opposite sex,because they are not in A position where they feel they can be fully accepted yet or even pass as the gender that they know they need to be.


Second,as far as credit goes most transitional individuals already have credit in there name whether it be from an auto loan,mortgage,credit card,investments etc...

In your opinion you see "other names used" as A bad thing.It's not A bad thing.And it will not out you like you also stated.To change your name on your credit all you do is contact the credit bureaus and send them an explanation of why you changed your name.Simple.If you have credit before totally transition,you just contact your creditors and let them know whats going on.Yes your "other name" may show up,but whats the big deal?When you apply for any new credit after you transition,you just bring your name change paper from the court.Denying anybody credit or A job perhaps because they changed there name is discrimination.

She asked, I answered....

Pam

Yes, simple - full time = name change (and driver's license, to the very day).
You don't want to be pulled over by police as a person who doesn't match the license.

Any other way you like can work as well, but be aware it might be to your own peril to not "match" at times when you need to.

YMMV. Anyone who gives "the one true answer, the only way that will work" is full of shit.

I think changing one's name just prior to going full time is a good guideline. In my case it didn't work that way. I changed the gender marker on my d.l. in Dec. '08. I went full time in June '09. I changed my name in Sep. '09. It's a long story but it was the solution for me.

For me, I had my DL picture changed first. I was dressed female with my hair done. My name was changed after when I went to court and made it legal. I have my Pass Port and medical card with F on it.

I changed my name when I was ready to never use my old name again...

I changed mine the day I transitioned. Court date was two months later, but the DL and stuff was already done.

Just a small point about credit. That worked for two out of three of my credit reports, I want to say transunion and experian. I'm pretty sure there's nothing I could have done about other reports(Lexus Nexus), at least at the time which was, like, 9 years ago. Once you get your legal name change, it's a court order and really easy to set your primary name, that said, name things get mixed up all of the time. And most banks won't notice or care and taking your old name off could mean that the CRA takes it like identity theft case and removes some of what would be potentially good credit. Basically, if you let all of your creditors know about your name change, it shouldn't be a problem, but if a creditor cannot change it's record since it's either switched holding companies, gone out of business, or just being jerks, the CRA may want to keep an old name there since your account is by that name(in my case it was a car loan that had lapsed but was in good standing.)

The way my name change went, was thus: I started getting ma'amed and miss'd on the phone and in person quite frequently, the company I worked for had a lot of trouble and probably partially because of the first issue, I was let go with a bunch of others. This was as good of a time as any to transition so I just went with it and set a court date to get my legal name change which took about 4 weeks. Then, changed my social security and drivers license and went in to talk to my old bosses about what was going on to ask them to change their records as well. It was, surreal and I kinda popped it on them, but they were mostly in the know by that point through a bunch of stuff so, not as big of a deal as it could have been. So early day court day, rest of the day changing those three things and getting a new picture for my DL and I was done.

All of this was about 11 months after I started really working forward so I felt it was a bit early, but that the opportunity couldn't have been better and I might not get a better chance at it. I thought I should take care of it before I was latched into something else that might prevent me from transitioning. And the rest is pretty much history.

Ultimately, you in control here. Do it when it feels right, maybe a little before depending on if you generally play things too safe and could use the push to get out of your comfort zone.

You mentioned being afraid of the big M on your drivers license and I get that, but honestly, almost know one looks at it. They may see it and skip over it. The one in 10 that is looking closely enough probably won't care much if at all. And you get good at putting your thumb or forefinger over it, so if you have to live without it for awhile, you're still not in a bad position. Ultimately, the more comfortable you are with you, the better off you will feel about the whole process.

Good luck!

Changing the name on records was neigh impossible in some cases. Two of the companies I'd worked for had been bought and sold several times during the 1980s. My old bosses were dead or in their 90s. My college wouldn't do it, not that the degree actually is worth anything anymore, because the records were too old and were archived in a warehouse somewhere -- 20 yrs is a long time and they had gone through 4 computer systems. My stuff was on the old IBM cards. Credit reports? My attorney sent the copies out, and handled the property title change. Social Security was a snap -- "What is this 'M' doing here? Obviously a mistake. There. Fixed."

But I will say this: mailing lists.... mailing lists. They get bought and sold. Your old name will find you via junk mail. It may not be right away, but it will happen. It happened to me 6 yrs after the fact.

Finally got around to changing my name on my property tax billing address. Had tons of junk mail sent to that old address. After almost 10 years...sigh

I don't know what it's like in the States but in Australia the police keep you under your original "alias" if an officer searches you in the database. That does make sense otherwise heaven forbid a tėrrorist could use the change as a way to get around security. I've experienced a bigoted officer .... but I dealt first with the issue at hand and the next few days with said officer. We do have rights.