GenderLife Forum: The Information Exchange

While I wait to begin transition next spring, one thing I cannot wait for is to hang out with and relate to women as a woman. I long for those friendships where they are my 'girl friends' and not my girlfriend, if you know what I mean.
Britt

Yes, it is indeed nice to make and have new friends, or to relate to old friends in a new way (if they don't reject you).

A rehtorical question to think about: Why wait until next spring to begin "transition"? If you're going to fit in with other women in a few months, why not fit in now? My experience is that socialization is a process, not a yesterday/today switch. And, it certainly isn't tied to being full time, or a legal name change. If you're counting on hormones to make it all easy, they don't - and they take several months to a year to really make a physical difference. If you're down to a situation of confidence and commitment, then I offer a favorite quote "Do something every day that scares you", Eleanor Roosevelt

Yes why wait? Granted the hormones are nice and will be a benchmark but for me it started long before that. If you are frustrated about the waiting game try and find little things to do each day or week to help with the feminisation process. Even the smallest little step can be a moral booster. I remember when I had my first laser session, even though it would be the first of many I felt on top of the world that I was doing something concrete.

Katja

You are so right, just because I have to act a certain way around my girlfriend does not mean that I have to be like that all of the time. I should use this time to get to know myself and my friends better and let them get to know who I really am. I need to get over looking at the big picture all of the time and take the small strides with a big heart.

For me it was making up my mind to take the lumps as part of the learning process. The biggest part of that was getting out in public. Starting out with masectomy breast forms and a wig was tough - I couldn't even spell passing let alone do it! To force myself out the door I made it a practice that anything "Diana" wanted she had to get; whether it was laser treatments, clothes, or even a cup of coffee. Ninty percent of becoming just another woman is the confidence that you are.

I can't begin to suggest how to act around your girlfriend, but to be honest with both her and yourself, you need to talk. Plan on the worst, and hope to be surprised. Finding the right words, and coming out to family and loved ones is perhaps the most female-affirming thing you can do. This is where transition really begins - not with clothes, hair or hormones. This is where the woman begins to assert herself in order to survive.

There is no better feeling than know you are "one of the girls".

The day I came out at work, and Gennipher stood behind me with the words, "Welcome to the girl's club, Pam", was one of the best moments of my life.

REF: Gypsy Moon, Chapter Eight