Hello to everyone out there,
I am in my mid twenties and have recently started HRT, I have come to terms so to speak, with my trans identity beginning over seven years ago and just now taking revitalized steps towards improving my quality of life as a feminine person. I was born male and aspire to be comfortable with a mind and body which support a feminine lifestyle. Sort of like a cat in a way, I am attracted to Buddhism and intellect.
I had begun the process to start hrt in a very odd fashion back in 2007 or so when I joined the Navy right out of high school, the experience was debilitating to my personality and self independence, which I had always been proud of, existing as a very male dominant person, but all gooey inside.
Being broken down in the Navy to serve and obey just proved how delusional I was about why I was there, I wished to help, have honor, etc. A typical naive basket of sensibilities. I came under constant fire all around me when in a discussion I had revealed I didn't mind people who identified as gay and stood up for equality in a training session to my superior mate, this was the sort of wary outcast state I settled into because of that slip of tongue.
The incident which propelled me down a spiraling path in the navy was one moment in the shower where I was cornered by my bunk mates at night after getting off my turn on watch. They asked why I liked gays and if I was, I denied this and tried my best to pronounce myself as the dominant male in the room, I was afraid inside but tried ever so hard not to show it.
The line of questioning bounced back and forth between me, soaped in the corner, the group closing me from the exit, where I could have asked a close friend to help. They tried to gauge my reaction with each question as they asked them, as if to uncover the truth through my expressions, this tactic proved useful to them as they fell upon transgenderism in a sense, specifically a tranny, which after graduating high school was the only word I had come across which remotely resembled transsexual, etc. I was in an ignorant stage of what I could define myself as.
I had failed myself in expressing defensive features and they jumped on me with words like fagot, freak, growing hostile, this is when my friend entered and walked up to me, he was bigger than them all and they respected him in a fearful way. He held my hand and brought me out and into the toilet rooms which are separate from the showers. We had a talk where I softly sobbed in his arms. Darrel was so sweet in a southern american type of way.
The ridicule continued anytime he wasn't with me, which was a lot. I eventually told my chief that I didn't feel safe, he said I was paranoid, but I managed to get a counselor, who I told I had specific things to talk about and couldn't necessarily speak about them with him. This is when an angel entered my life, she was a gender therapist downtown who did counseling for veterans, she happened to be in the navy base at the time and basically came to my rescue.
I spent another six months in a VA hospital recovering basically, mental stress from everything that had happened to me throughout my time in the navy.
in the present, I have since recovered to a point and have been out for a year.
Thanks for the chance to share my life story, its liberating in a way to share with people like me.
<3
I have recently been working on feminizing my wardrobe and features, since I'm built like a bigger guy.
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